


fineas and pherb

by faroe_islands



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: bling bling boy is mentioned, but im posting this on ao3 anyways, god is dead and i have killed him, its a shitpost but not a really good one, probably cuz i gave up writing it, this isnt really good but i gave it my best, this was an assignment i did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25737457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faroe_islands/pseuds/faroe_islands
Summary: it's the flynn-fletcher's wedding anniversary and the boys don't know what to do. dr. heinz doofenshmirtz has teamed up with bling bling boy from the johnny test franchise to create the ultimate machine of his lifetime. perry the platypus has to sit through hours of emotional pain due to the mediocrity of both parties. find out what happens when you read what i would consider honest to god one of the best worst things ive written this year
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. bruh moment bottom text

**Author's Note:**

> i will be honest this was an assignment for one of the classes i was taking recently and i to do it until 45 mins before the due date so its not great but its written about phineas and ferb so i think that cancels out the badness

Today began as a normal day in the city of Danville. Phineas Flynn-Fletcher and his brother Ferb started it off by eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and sifting through various episodes of Cory in the House and other cursed Japanese cartoons. Since there were 104 days of summer vacation, they figured there wasn’t much to do and spent most of their time watching television, playing with their pet platypus, and building various absurd contraptions in their parent’s backyard. 

However, as Ferb checked today’s calendar, he found an unfortunate surprise. Today was his parent’s annual wedding anniversary and they had not prepared anything. Phineas and Ferb quickly set off to their upper-middle class backyard. They knew that their father had previously been in a band (Love Handel), and that their parents initially fell in love during that era. With that in mind, Phineas started gathering a plan. Him and Ferb were going to build the most extravagant stage they could fit in their backyard and wanted to invite the dismantled band members for a final performance.


	2. doof is confused but he got the spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stan the himbo

Meanwhile, on the other half of the city, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was finishing up the final steps to his evil plan. He had been in a year long collaborative project with Bling Bling Boy (from the Johnny Test franchise) to build a nefarious machine that’s been programmed to take every single valuable material item within a 50 mile radius. They, ingeniously, coined it the “BlingBling-Inator 9000” and planned on using it the same day of the Flynn-Fletcher’s anniversary. Or, that’s what they thought. Suddenly, a loud crash came from the ceiling of Doofenshmirtz’s 45-story high evil lair. 

“By God! A monster!” Doofenshmirtz shouted.

The creature looked back at him. He was filled from head to toe with blue fur and noticeable duck beak. His webbed feet were positioned at a fighting stance and he chittered something under his breath.

“A... platypus?” Doofenshmirtz asked. He was confused.

The creature then suddenly pulled out an extravagantly large brown fedora and placed it on his head. 

“PERRY THE PLATYPUS???” Doofenschmirtz screamed, bewildered by the magnificent disguise his arch-nemesis was able to pull on him.  
Perry nodded, unamused by his rival’s incompetence. He then handed a business card stating that he was legally authorized to dismantle the machine that Doof had created. He was working under the OWCA (Organization Without a Cool Acronym) and had the federal government backing up his secretive spywork.

Doof gasped dramatically. His year’s worth of hard work and endless endurance was not going to end without a bang.  
“I see how it is,” Doof replied snarkily. He slid his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. Little did Perry know, the BlingBling-Inator 9000’s on button was in there. He pressed it maliciously, watching the horror on Perry’s face as much of the bling from the tri-state area was getting sucked up into his horrible contraption.


	3. romance is a hoax by society designed just to make u feel bad about urself

Back at the Flynn-Fletchers household, Phineas and Ferb were having a hard time fixing their stage setup. Although they had designed an elaborate lighting area and worked out the acoustics, they didn’t believe it was a good enough system for their parents. Even Cadance, their older sister who had many times tried to foil their plans, was feeling hopeless.

“If you place your drumset back, maybe the sound will be able to project further” Phineas suggested to Swampy, the percussionist.

“No,” Swampy responded flatly, “I won’t have enough space to fit my low toms and bass drum.”

“Okay, then what if we got Bobbi (the bass player) to move slightly left so you have more space for your setup?”

“Moving left will mess up the formation of the band!” Bobby groaned, annoyed by all this trouble.

“Phineas!” Cadence shouted, “You gotta hurry this up. Mom and Dad will be home soon and we don’t have enough time to flounder around!”

Phineas rolled his eyes, telling the bandmates to figure out a position that was comfortable for them. He then went by Ferb and started helping him with the wires connecting to the stage amp.  
“Hey,” he said questioningly, “Have you seen Perry?”


	4. doof has daddy issues and now i project myself onto him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get my man a therapist

Perry the Platypus was in the middle of an intense fight with Doofenshmirtz. He was about 110% sure that he needed to stop the BlingBling-Inator 9000 before it caused irrevocable damage to the civilians of Danville. After all, jewelry was a major component of the city’s economy and the dangers of Doof hoarding it all seemed like a disastrous thought. He flung himself at the mad scientist while doing a front kick. Doof narrowly avoided it, yelling at him to stop.

“Whatever happened to the old times?” Doof pleaded, nostalgic with the many instances Perry tried to put an end to his evil schemes, “I remember when you used to try destroying my machines instead of destroying me instead. That’s why I installed a semi-automatic self-destruct button so that way you won’t have to ruin my dreams right in front of me, unlike my dad.”

Perry stared blankly. He didn’t have the time nor emotional energy to deal with another one of Doof’s emotional rantings.

“Like, there was this one time where I was on the famous TV series, Shark Tank. I built a whole Shrink-Inator and lost to some child with a paper mache volcano! Can you believe that? My father, who, keep in mind, hasn’t talked to me within the past twenty years, contacted me and didn’t cease to tell me of how big of a failure I am! He even offered to fly himself all the way to my evil lair just to reprimand me in person about his disappointment! And don’t even get me started on my mother. That wretched hag of a woman-”

Doof was interrupted suddenly to a karate chop to the stomach. He was knocked to the floor, the remote of the BlingBling-Inator 9000 falling out of his pocket. Perry quickly lunged to pick it up, much to Doof’s emotional dismay.

“No! Perry! Please, don’t pick it up! I spent hours bedazzling it and the glue isn’t completely dry yet! Bling Bling Boy will be very upset when he finds out this passion project could be ruined by your callousness. Also, I really don’t want you to see that there’s a reverse button on there that would deliver the bling back to the people of Danville in a safe and timely manner because then, you would, once again, ruin everything I have worked for!”

Doofenshmirtz’s eyes widened by the secret he had just admitted to Perry. Perry’s face showcased his best attempt of a passive-aggressive smirk possible for those of platypus descent. He then pressed the reverse button, leading to the vast amount of bling to quickly fly into the air and start raining into the Tri-State area.


	5. an unsatisfactory ending

The concert at Phineas’s house was going alright. The band was good, the sound sounded decent, and the lighting was exactly where it was supposed to be. It wasn’t bad, but nothing was popping out. That was until suddenly, a steady stream of jewelry and other expensive metallic items started falling down. Doofenshmirtz’s reversed BlingBling-Inator 9000 had made a surprise entry into the show. Because of their fight, Doof and Perry were also subsequently thrown into the stream of falling bling. 

“CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!” he screamed before looking down at the concert below him. “Wait. Is this Love Handel?”

Perry nodded before taking off his fedora. He fell next to Phineas, who was currently talking to his parents. 

“So, mom, dad. What did you think of your anniversary?” Phineas asked. The concert was now over and the performers were greeted with cheering from a small crowd as well as the bling rain.

“Oh, honey, it was wonderful!” Linda (Phineas’s mom) gushed, “I can’t believe you got the old band back together!”

“I’m just surprised you remembered it was our anniversary” Lawrence muttered, evoking laughter from the crowd. “Thank you boys for planning this for us. And Cadence.”

“Aw, thanks,” Phineas smiled. Him, Ferb, and their parents hugged. Phineas then noticed his pet platypus standing next to him, saying: “Hey! I found Perry!” before inviting him into a group hug


	6. i wish i was part of the kpop doofenperry au

"stan loona" -baljeet


End file.
